Tag Archives: beliefs

UN-LIMIT YOURSELF

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.”
~Thomas Alva Edison~

It is true that most of us can accomplish much more than we think we can. Unfortunately, very few of us test the limits of our capabilities due to unsubstantiated restrictive beliefs. The truth is that there is no grand rule book with published lists of what each of us can or cannot accomplish. Therefore, any limits we perceive are self-created.

For illustration, I would like to present 3 examples that can help you to visualize the concept of mental restriction.

The Chained Elephant

For some, self-limitation is the legacy of a restricted upbringing. In other words, limitations were instilled within them as children and have now become an ingrained way of thinking. It is like the parable of the chained elephant.

As the story goes, an elephant can be conditioned to accept restraint from a very early age. The key is to initiate limits when he is very young by placing a chain around his leg, which is then attached to a stake. As he struggles to free himself, he quickly realizes that he does not have the strength to overcome the chain. Once the elephant becomes an adult, even if the chain is removed and replaced by a mere rope, the elephant will not attempt to escape because it assumes it cannot break free. It is obvious that the elephant could, at anytime, uproot the stake or break away from the rope but it never occurs to the elephant to re-test its adult strength.

Like the captive elephant, humans can become bound by blindly adopted thoughts and beliefs passed on by others, as well as limitations that no longer apply.

Trapped Inside of “The Box”

Another way we limit ourselves is by thinking within limited parameters. We often approach problem-solving using the same thinking that has been “boxed” and labeled as “the way of doing things.” The problem is that we become limited to the ideas that are provided within the box.

Albert Einstein was one of the most innovative thinkers of all time. What made him unique was his unwillingness to be confined by outdated modes of thinking. While his contemporaries continued to use the old Newtonian theory (which confined their perspectives) to answer modern questions, Einstein’s ability to think outside of accepted parameters allowed him to expand his perspective, ultimately leading to a giant leap toward the theory of relativity.

We’ve all heard the saying, “think outside of the box.” When it comes to designing our lives, the box represents a limited perspective. Un-limiting ourselves frees us from the box of conventional thinking. It engages our creativity and ingenuity which allows us to customize unique solutions for our unique problems. Always remember: doing things the way they’ve always been done limits us to the same outcomes that have always occurred.

As Free As a Bird

Now, I would like you to shift your thinking from confinement and limitation. Instead, visualize a bird flying in the sky. Focus on its freedom of movement. Now, draw a mental circle around it, placing the bird in the very center. Next, mark a point on the circle. Now mark another point. Then, another . . . and another. Pretty soon, you will realize that there are infinite points on the circumference of the circle. The circle represents the 360 degrees of options for the direction in which the bird could fly. Even if the bird does not recognize this breadth of possibilities, it doesn’t negate the fact that these possibilities exist.

If you are able to visualize your life in this way, then you will realize that your options are literally limitless, even if you cannot see all the possibilities. Our lives are so dynamic – continuously unfolding – that there really is no reason to believe that you don’t have any options for the way you live your life – or that you only have 2 options . . . or 3.

There is a paradox in the fact that we can accomplish more than we think we can; it is unfortunate, yet fortunate. It is unfortunate because we often limit our own potential (and miss opportunities) due to the beliefs we adopt. However, fortune lies within the possibility of overcoming the limits in our thinking and achieving much more than we ever thought we could. Un-limiting ourselves is about freeing our minds from the unsubstantiated, self-imposed limitations that keep us from venturing beyond what we know (sometimes known as comfort zones) and recognizing that many possibilities exist beyond the ones we can see.

The key thing to understand is that nothing is written in stone regarding the options we have for our lives. Un-limiting ourselves simply means accepting that we CAN do something more or different, which primes our thinking for the next step of HOW.

Which do you recognize in your own thinking – an elephant, box, or bird? How often do you search “outside the box” for life-design solutions?

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

“The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.”
~Japanese Proverb~

Change occurs whether we like it or not. When we step back and take a true look at the world, it is not a static picture that we see. Instead, we see a world that is ever-evolving and in constant motion, and unless we learn to evolve with it, we will become isolated from progress like an artifact frozen in time.

One of the keys to managing emotional health lies within our ability to accept change – acceptance of the fact that change HAS occurred, and that change WILL occur. Inability to accept the inevitability of change will lead to an emotionally challenged existence.

This is not to say that we are passive “victims” of change. Though we cannot control external causes, we can certainly manage our responses to them. The world stops for no one – and change will occur with our without our endorsement. Therefore, it is better to find a way to embrace change than to resist it.

Bamboo has long been regarded as a symbol of longevity and resilience – and certainly for good reason. It stays evergreen throughout the four seasons, even during harsh winter months. Additionally, it is known for its ability to bend without breaking, resiliently swaying with the direction of changing winds. In fact, bamboo is so resilient that architects and engineers have long had an interest in designing earthquake-resistant bamboo structures, utilizing its natural resilience.

Accepting change is about staying in the “here and now.” When we refuse to accept change, we are expressing a wish to remain in an idealized past that no longer exists; it is the obstinate non-acceptance of an inevitable unfolding reality. In other words, it is a rejection of a key element of life’s essence. Essentially, as situations change, we face a changed reality that we must find a way to accept. Otherwise, we run the risk of living in the past, which is outside of what has now become reality. Therefore, like the bamboo, we have the options to either bend with change (which is inevitable), or be broken by it and left behind

One important point to consider is that change always makes way for something new or different. Endings lead to beginnings. So, within change, there is always an opportunitiy waiting to be uncovered. Resistance to change will create stagnation by the simple fact that we separate ourselves from the opportunities that are inherent in change. Therefore, as we emerge from any situation, we should ready ourselves for the next.

“The world is full of movement
bathing us in change.”
~John Millar~

The natural world that surrounds us is moving; nothing stays the same. We see evidence of this as we observe natural life cycles, the changing of seasons, rising and setting of the sun, and the changing landscape of the earth’s surface. Since we don’t exist in a vacuüm, humans are not exempt. In the same way that the world does not create a static picture, there are no static images staring back as we look in the mirror.

As with the physical universe, intangible beliefs and ideas are also affected by change. New discoveries will challenge our accepted ideas, which could possibly lead to shifts in our personal worldview. Of course there are those inner truths to which we will hold steadfast. However, we shouldn’t be so rigid that we hinder personal development. Moreover, it is illogical to reject a discovery that has exposed a hole in personal logic.

What’s the lesson here?

I believe inspiration can be found in all things, and the ever-changing universe is an awe-inspiring example. Change is natural – and inevitable. It’s a fact that we should acknowledge and accept as part of our life plan.

I can’t think of a better way to illustrate the constant motion of our universe than through the art of time-lapse cinematography. As you watch “Mountain Light,” consider the inevitable nature of change and how our resistance to it is truly futile.

(To see more award-winning time-lapse photography from Tom Lowe, visit Timescapes.org and Vimeo.)

How do you normally react to change? Do you see distress – or opportunity?

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AM I INSANE?

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Well . . . not really.

This high-mileage quote has been misattributed to several famous people (including Albert Einstein and Benjamin Franklin), and is completely misused. If you query any good dictionary for the word “insanity,” you will not find this saying as a definition. While doing the same thing over and over expecting different results may be problematic, it’s certainly not insane.

Many of us repeat behaviors out of habit without any true introspection into why we continue to do them. We realize the bad outcomes, but for some reason, changing the behavior doesn’t immediately come to mind. Instead, we continue ineffective behaviors with a hope that the outcome will eventually change.

The truth is that breaking habits and changing our behavior is difficult. If it was simply a matter of expressing a desire to change, and then doing it, there would be no need for therapists, and the self-help industry would be nonexistent.

Change is a process that is dependent on many factors. Challenging core beliefs and perceiving the need to change are the primary precursors to change; without this, change will not occur.

Behavioral change is also affected by:

  • Motivational influences (both intrinsic and extrinsic)
  • Acceptance of the connection between personal choices and situational outcomes
  • Realistic expectations of change as a process (not always easy, immediate, or linear)
  • Sense of self and belief in one’s own ability to change
  • Ability to withstand setbacks (two steps forward, one step back)
Successful change requires abandoning an undesired behavior and replacing it with a behavior more consistent with the desired outcome. This process often involves examining a long-standing belief, accepting that it is faulty, and then amending or abandoning that belief.

This is not an easy process, which is why this type of change takes time. Although we may have the desire to change, we have to consider that an external change requires internal work, which doesn’t always happen quickly.

Leaving the comfort of something habitual (habits require very little thinking and effort) also creates a challenge. We often prefer to fall back on familiar behaviors when feeling overwhelmed because it is much easier to do what we’ve always done in the past. This will result in setbacks. However, each time we overcome a setback and reinstate our effort toward change, we reinforce the desired new behavior, and will eventually come to adopt it as the new standard.

We all have individual reasons of why we repeat certain behaviors, which have nothing to do with insanity. But once we’ve chosen to make a permanent change, we have to accept that setbacks are part of the process. The learning curve for behavioral change is not linear. Instead, there are peaks and valleys, which represent progression and setbacks. So, if you’re finding it hard to break old patterns, it’s not because you are insane.

I think the change process is expressed perfectly in the poem below, which illustrates a very common road to change. As you read it, reflect upon your past efforts toward change.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

~by Portia Nelson~

Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost . . . I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V
I walk down another street.

*Image: Xaxor.com

Have you faced challenges with making changes in your life? What does your autobiography look like?