Tag Archives: self-limiting thinking

UN-LIMIT YOURSELF

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.”
~Thomas Alva Edison~

It is true that most of us can accomplish much more than we think we can. Unfortunately, very few of us test the limits of our capabilities due to unsubstantiated restrictive beliefs. The truth is that there is no grand rule book with published lists of what each of us can or cannot accomplish. Therefore, any limits we perceive are self-created.

For illustration, I would like to present 3 examples that can help you to visualize the concept of mental restriction.

The Chained Elephant

For some, self-limitation is the legacy of a restricted upbringing. In other words, limitations were instilled within them as children and have now become an ingrained way of thinking. It is like the parable of the chained elephant.

As the story goes, an elephant can be conditioned to accept restraint from a very early age. The key is to initiate limits when he is very young by placing a chain around his leg, which is then attached to a stake. As he struggles to free himself, he quickly realizes that he does not have the strength to overcome the chain. Once the elephant becomes an adult, even if the chain is removed and replaced by a mere rope, the elephant will not attempt to escape because it assumes it cannot break free. It is obvious that the elephant could, at anytime, uproot the stake or break away from the rope but it never occurs to the elephant to re-test its adult strength.

Like the captive elephant, humans can become bound by blindly adopted thoughts and beliefs passed on by others, as well as limitations that no longer apply.

Trapped Inside of “The Box”

Another way we limit ourselves is by thinking within limited parameters. We often approach problem-solving using the same thinking that has been “boxed” and labeled as “the way of doing things.” The problem is that we become limited to the ideas that are provided within the box.

Albert Einstein was one of the most innovative thinkers of all time. What made him unique was his unwillingness to be confined by outdated modes of thinking. While his contemporaries continued to use the old Newtonian theory (which confined their perspectives) to answer modern questions, Einstein’s ability to think outside of accepted parameters allowed him to expand his perspective, ultimately leading to a giant leap toward the theory of relativity.

We’ve all heard the saying, “think outside of the box.” When it comes to designing our lives, the box represents a limited perspective. Un-limiting ourselves frees us from the box of conventional thinking. It engages our creativity and ingenuity which allows us to customize unique solutions for our unique problems. Always remember: doing things the way they’ve always been done limits us to the same outcomes that have always occurred.

As Free As a Bird

Now, I would like you to shift your thinking from confinement and limitation. Instead, visualize a bird flying in the sky. Focus on its freedom of movement. Now, draw a mental circle around it, placing the bird in the very center. Next, mark a point on the circle. Now mark another point. Then, another . . . and another. Pretty soon, you will realize that there are infinite points on the circumference of the circle. The circle represents the 360 degrees of options for the direction in which the bird could fly. Even if the bird does not recognize this breadth of possibilities, it doesn’t negate the fact that these possibilities exist.

If you are able to visualize your life in this way, then you will realize that your options are literally limitless, even if you cannot see all the possibilities. Our lives are so dynamic – continuously unfolding – that there really is no reason to believe that you don’t have any options for the way you live your life – or that you only have 2 options . . . or 3.

There is a paradox in the fact that we can accomplish more than we think we can; it is unfortunate, yet fortunate. It is unfortunate because we often limit our own potential (and miss opportunities) due to the beliefs we adopt. However, fortune lies within the possibility of overcoming the limits in our thinking and achieving much more than we ever thought we could. Un-limiting ourselves is about freeing our minds from the unsubstantiated, self-imposed limitations that keep us from venturing beyond what we know (sometimes known as comfort zones) and recognizing that many possibilities exist beyond the ones we can see.

The key thing to understand is that nothing is written in stone regarding the options we have for our lives. Un-limiting ourselves simply means accepting that we CAN do something more or different, which primes our thinking for the next step of HOW.

Which do you recognize in your own thinking – an elephant, box, or bird? How often do you search “outside the box” for life-design solutions?

I OBJECT! (Building a Case Against “I Can’t”)

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable,
you disconnect yourself from what you truly want,
and all that is left is a compromise.”
~Robert Fritz~

I can’t think of anything more self-limiting than the words, “I can’t.” When we utter these words, it means we’ve surrendered to a limitation, and our world of experiences immediately becomes smaller. And to make matters worse, the limitation placed upon us is self-imposed.

The truth is that “can’t” usually means “won’t.” Why? Because regardless of the obstacles, people will pave a way for the things they truly want to do. So, when a person says, “I can’t,” what they are really saying is that they don’t wish to put forth the effort and, therefore, won’t.

Limiting ourselves in this way is detrimental to our psyches. We begin to internalize this response, and pretty soon our minds become habituated to it and will accept these limitations as an expected way to deal with future opportunities and problems. In other words, we set ourselves up for lives of compromise and underachievement.

Therefore, I am presenting a case against using the words, “I can’t,” and I would like to present the following concepts as “evidence” in support of my case:

EXHIBIT 1: Logic

When we use the word, “can’t,” we present ourselves with the challenge of proving that a 100% impossibility exists.

The word “can’t” only applies to complete impossibilities – such as a paralyzed person not being able to walk. But even in that case, alternatives may exist. However, if ANY possibility exists, then logically, we can’t use the word, “can’t.”

When we apply this logic, it will become apparent that many more things CAN be done than we think. In fact, most things can be done, given the right conditions.

EXHIBIT 2: Metaphysics

“Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh~

In “The Key to Emotional Health”, I discussed the concept of impermanence. Impermanence refers to the transient nature of the world – nothing is fixed or permanent. By the very nature of impermanence, our circumstances are always changing. This means that we live in a world of ever-unfolding potential, and therefore possibilities always exist.

Just because the right conditions don’t exist at the moment, it does not mean that the proper conditions will never exist. Additionally, within us is the ability to work and create the proper conditions. Therefore, we can acknowledge that potential always exists, and instead of “I can’t,” we can tell ourselves, “I can, but not at this moment.”

EXHIBIT 3: Neuroscience

Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to change structurally and functionally as a result of input from the environment. This means our brains are reactive to the ways we channel our attention. For example, If we regularly channel our attention to reading, math, or playing piano, the neural areas of the brain associated with those activities become more developed and accessible, and we are more able to develop an expertise.

The same holds true for the type of thinking we do. If we are positive thinkers, then our brains become “wired” for positive thoughts and solutions. However, if we focus on negativity and limitations, then we tend to always think in negative and limiting ways.

The human brain is designed for problem-solving, which is defined as the effort to overcome obstacles obstructing the path to a solution. And as you can probably guess, the more we solve problems, the more adept we become at solving future problems. Additionally, when we search for new ways around a problem, we often tap into our ability to think creatively.

The moment we say, “I can’t,” we close the door on our thinking. Essentially, we give ourselves permission to cop-out on a challenge. But the truth is that all possibilities exist within our thinking. In this context, “can’t” exists due to two common things: an unwillingness to search for a solution, and because we’ve trained the mind to limit itself.

EXHIBIT 4: Positive Psychology

A primary focus of Positive Psychology is to find and nurture our strengths and talents, and discover ways to make normal life more fulfilling. According to positive psychologists, our ability to experience happiness is directly linked to our ability to be optimistic. Optimism is the tendency to take a hopeful view about the future, or to have confidence in the successful outcome of an endeavor.

Learned helplessness, on the other hand, occurs when one believes that they have no control over what occurs, and that something external from themselves dictates their ability to succeed or accomplish a task.

Self-limiting thoughts are counterproductive to cultivating optimism. When we say, “I can’t,” we are accepting the idea that we don’t have control over our ability to accomplish something – which is not very optimistic. “I can’t” perpetuates an inner dialogue that short-circuits our goal-directed thinking because we start to believe that we don’t have the capacity (helplessness) to find a route to our desired goals.

A PROPOSED SOLUTION: Learn to overcome personal objections

“Refuse to accept the many reasons why it can’t be done and ask if there are any reasons it can be done.” ~Hanoch McCarty~

Whenever we have a feeling that we can’t do something, we should pause before we actually say it. We should think about the circumstances that would make the endeavor possible, and then be honest about whether we WANT to put forth the effort to do it. It’s really a matter of overcoming our own objections. Instead of filing our hesitation under the category of “I can’t,” we should uncover the true issue.

For instance, if we wish to travel the world, it’s not really rocket science. We simply must create the proper conditions. World travel requires money, travel documents, and time. Whether we are willing to create these conditions is really a matter of “will” or “won’t,” not “can’t.” We will accumulate the money, apply for the appropriate travel documents, and schedule a time to go – or we won’t.

To uncover the real reasons behind our objections, we can challenge our limiting thoughts through dialogue. An internal dialogue will sound something like this (simplified version):

“I wish I could travel around the world, but I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a passport.”
“What does it take to get a passport?”
“I’m not sure – I guess I could google it.”
“Hmm . . . it seems relatively easy. But I don’t really have the money to travel.”
“Can I get the money?”
“Yes, I could save for a year. But, that means I’ll have to make some sacrifices.”
“Am I willing to sacrifice my current spending to save for a trip?”
Yes/No

Even if the answer ends up being “no” in the end, at least we will have explored the possibilities that exist. This allows us to see that we actually CAN accomplish this goal if we’re willing to put forth the effort to create the proper conditions.

This type of dialogue can reveal a lot about who we really are. Maybe we will learn something new about our authentic selves, and it is possible to uncover a few hidden fears.

CONCLUSION: Become empowered with “I CAN”

“Can’t” implies a limitation that has been imposed upon us – which is disempowering. Therefore, by eliminating the word “can’t,” we are actually embracing the power to DECIDE what we truly wish to do. Whether we “will” or “won’t” means that we’ve made an empowered choice, versus reacting to an imposed prohibition.

Henry Ford was right: Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right. When we tell ourselves “I can’t,” it ensures that we will not even attempt – which guarantees the utterance of “I can’t” to become a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Therefore, we should eliminate the limited thinking of “I can’t” so that we can get out of our own way. Once we remove our largest obstacle, we open ourselves to the freedom of unlimited experiences and infinite possibilities.

And now . . . I rest my case.

How often do you find yourself saying, “I can’t?” What do you think your life would be like if you eliminated self-limiting thinking?”